Don’t Feed the Trolls

When my dad came to me to help him organize a political event I was thrilled and, quite frankly, honored.  The person that I admire most in the world wants to work with me on something he cares about. Let’s get started!  

Everything has been great thus far!  I guess I should say almost everything.  We’ve gotten the venue, food plan and got a schedule together of what we need to do.  We are both first time organizers so it’s been interesting working through the kinks together.  We’ve got over 40 attendees so we must be doing something right. The part that I wasn’t anticipating was exposing my dad to the ugly side of social media.

I should have known to prepare for this.  I’ve had my page for over a year now. I get hate all the time.  Maybe I’ve become desensitized to it because, honestly, I don’t even notice anymore.  What I didn’t anticipate was how angry I would feel when people do the same thing to my dad.  People go out of their way to be mean and sometimes quite aggressive. Some examples:


  • If your calling for a “revolution” then it shows just how treasonous you people really are.
  • Layton losers (This guy came back multiple times to post this.  He must have a lot of time on his hands.)
  • I shouldn’t have to pay more just because you made a choice to be a stay at home mom


Those are three from the roughly twenty negative comments that were received over the weekend.  I would include more, but most are deleted now. A direct threat of violence was also received. Seriously?  My knee jerk reaction was to respond to all of them! Tell them that calling us treasonous is the same as calling for our deaths, congratulating them on being enormous a**holes or calling them out on how uninformed their comment is.  This is my dad you’re talking about! How dare you?! But instead I decided to take a deep breath and remember my motto on my own page. Don’t feed the trolls.

Part of what makes pushing for change hard are the people that push back.  We’ve got to stay committed and keep our eye on the prize. Healthcare for all must become a reality in the United States.  Every person, including those that so wholeheartedly push against the concept, deserves healthcare. It should be a right in this country.  No amount of trolling will change my mind about that.



Our Next President Must ‘See Race’

There are plenty of reasons to disqualify Howard Schultz as a presidential candidate in my mind:

  • Not selling his Starbucks stock
  • being opposed to universal healthcare
  • me having a bitter taste in my mouth about a billionaire as president
  • him acting like taxing the rich is a ridiculous idea
  • his third party bid would help re-elect our current president

He’s been a nonstarter in my mind from the beginning, but the debate surrounding his candidacy has been interesting to watch. After the election of Donald Trump I can let my mind drift to things that I would have never thought possible. Maybe a third party candidate could win. Who knows? But then came his town hall on CNN. He was asked about racial profiling in America. His response is the number one disqualifier in my book:

‘I didn’t see color as a boy and I honestly don’t see color now.’

I was born and raised in the suburbs of Utah. My graduating class was roughly 2000 people. Of those about 3 or 4 students were black. We were white. Sure, there were some other ethnicities around, but we were white. I grew up believing racism to be a thing that used to happen long ago. I had a few experiences that should have told me otherwise, but I was young and didn’t see them.

For example, I got a job at Crown Burger and I was the only white person on staff. I got paid a dollar more than everyone else because, I was told, I speak English. Well, everyone else spoke English too. I was the only one not required to help clean after closing. I still don’t know how long it takes to close down a restaurant. One time around Christmas, paychecks were being withheld until a certain time. Everyone was very upset about it. I walked to the back like normal and the manager gave me mine before the allotted time without a second thought. Maybe I didn’t see it because I developed good friendships with many of my coworkers. I bought Lourdes 30 minutes on my phone so she could call her mother in Mexico. I went to a Mexican dance club with Leti. I attended a baby blessing and gave gifts for birthdays. I laughed and joked during work without a care in the world. One of the girls told me her uncle was hit by a car and killed.

I said, ’OMG what did the police do?’ She looked at me with such exasperation when she said, ‘Sarah, nobody cares about us. That includes the police.’ I should have seen race then, but I didn’t. I actually just didn’t believe her.


I was working at Buckle when one of my coworkers was expressing frustration about not being able to find a particular brand of clothing her son wanted. She went on to explain that her adopted son is black. He’s entering his teenage years and is struggling with figuring out who he is. I want to put my foot in my mouth when I think about what I said, ‘Doesn’t every teenager struggle with that? Why can’t he just wear something else?’ She said when you’re different from everybody else it can present unique challenges.

She, as a mother, wanted to do all she could to alleviate that inevitable struggle he faced. I should have seen it then, but I didn’t. I dismissed the whole interaction as a mom being overly sensitive about her child, perhaps even overcompensating for that fact that he was adopted. Silly, young girl I was. Now that I have a child that is different, I wish I could go back in time and give this woman a hug.

When my sister got engaged to a black guy I remember my grandma said, ‘Oh no, is she really gonna marry that colored fella?’ I should have seen it then, but I thought to myself, ‘Well, that’s a generational thing. What more can you expect from an old lady?’ When my sister became pregnant, I started to cry because I didn’t live near her at the time. My other grandma misread my emotion and said, ‘I know, what is your dad going to do when she shows up on his porch with a biracial child.’ I remember being confused about why having a biracial baby concerned her so, but, of course, I didn’t ask.

I wasn’t truly confronted with the issue of race until I moved to California. I worked at a clothing store at the Del Amo mall when I realized I had no idea how much of a bubble I lived in my whole life. A black woman entered the store and immediately I was instructed to follow the customer around in my earpiece. It’s not that abnormal to have repeat shoplifters so I assumed this customer was known to the team. The method I learned in Utah to prevent shoplifting is to give attentive customer service.

So, I approached the woman and I asked if she needed help finding anything. She said no thank you and kept shopping. The voice came over my earpiece again, ‘This isn’t Utah, stay on that lady.’ I felt awkward because I just talked to her. She was looking at some t shirts so I said, ‘We just got those in. They’re really cute.’

She looked me dead in the eyes and I’ll never forget what she said. ‘I’m not going to steal anything.’ In my surprise, I blurted out, ‘Oh sorry, they told me to watch you,’ gesturing over to my coworkers. She let out a knowing sigh, ‘Imagine that, out of all the customers in this store they told you to watch the black one.’

When she left the store, I got angry with the team. Why did they embarrass me like that?! My manager looked at me and said, ‘Black people steal Sarah. You have a lot to learn about how things really are.’ Well, she was right about one thing. I did have a lot to learn about how things really are.

The time I spent at that store taught me more about racial animosity than a lifetime in Utah ever could. I was speaking loudly and slowly to an Asian customer once. She said, ‘I’m Asian, not stupid.’ A black trans employee didn’t make it to work because she was beat up at the bus stop. I tried to break up an argument once when the girl turned to me and screamed, ‘I don’t need a white girl to vouch for me!’ I can give countless examples of tension while I worked at that store and lived in that city.

I struggled to figure out how to conduct myself once I started realizing people judged me for my skin too. People assumed I was rich, that my life was easy, free from the struggles of the people around me. In some ways those assumptions were right. I never had a problem getting a job or an apartment. I was pulled over once when I had a bag of weed in the car. I had it on the passenger seat, right in the open, when the officer approached the window. My car wasn’t registered and I didn’t have my license because I had lost it at a bar somewhere. Sounds like the recipe for disaster right? Nope. The cop took the weed and told me to go home. No ticket, nothing. It’s hard to imagine the same outcome happening if my skin wasn’t white. My own biases emerged as time went on as well. I visited my sister once and shocked her with my harsh rhetoric about the city I lived in. I was knee deep in the realization that it is easier to be around people that are similar to you.

When I returned to Utah, I was again culture shocked. I remember walking down my dad’s street and crying uncontrollably. After living in an impoverished neighborhood riddled with crime and uncertainty, I was struck by the beauty of the neighborhood. The safety I felt was so relieving it felt tangible. It was hard to explain to my family members the guilt this relief was causing me. The struggles in California are crushing people. I was able to just throw my hands up and decide I’m done with it. It was hard for me to square with the fact that people are born into impossible situations with no safety net. They don’t have the resources, knowledge about programs available, family financial support or anything else.

I began to realize what white privilege actually means. It doesn’t mean life isn’t hard for white people or white people don’t work for what they have. People don’t say it to somehow diminish who you are or make you feel shame about being white. It doesn’t mean that white citizens owe them anything.

What it does mean is that out of all the struggles a person can experience in life, race won’t be one of the ones that white people face. It’s a way to point out that racial issues often get overlooked because the majority of people don’t experience it, especially here. It’s an acknowledgement that problems that exist today are largely due to generational oppression of minority groups.

It’s easy to assume that racism is a thing of the past when it doesn’t have a negative impact on you daily or when you live in a place that is dominated by one group of people. I have the luxury of choosing whether or not to look at the subject closely. Others don’t have that choice. Racial bias is woven into the fabric of our society, but it is institutionalized as well. It’s built into:

  • the criminal justice system
  • the housing market
  • the banking system
  • the school system
  • the healthcare system
  • policing
  • employment opportunities
  • every other institution in our country

You can see it clearly in generational wealth or generational poverty patterns. Even our elected leaders don’t reflect the population, although it’s getting better. Racism has been a driving force in this country since its inception. That’s undeniable. Our leaders must understand and face that fact.

Not seeing race is a form of willful ignorance that will most definitely propel us forward on the path Trump has sent us on. We need a course correction, not fuel added to the raging fire of racial injustice. Howard Schultz can choose not to see race if he wants. If that’s his choice than he has no business running for president.

We need a leader that is prepared to call out racism, denounce it and educate the public about how to solve the problem. We need someone who will study the subject and listen to the outcry. We need a leader that can show people how to be an ally to oppressed groups especially when you might not be experiencing that oppression yourself. We need a leader that can help us take steps toward the perfect union that America is supposed to be. They need to be driven by empathy and a care for all people. We need to elect a president that believes that all people are created equal while at the same time acknowledging that our system and society are far from treating people that way.

Does Your Vote Really Matter?


Utah voters passed 3 progressive policies last November.

  • Prop 2 – legalizing the use of medical marijuana
  • Prop 3 – Expanding Medicaid health insurance
  • Prop 4 – an anti-gerrymandering measure

Utah voters also elected Republicans that are openly against legal marijuana, Medicaid and are pro-gerrymandering. Now, Utah voters are outraged that the newly elected Congressman are dismantling the Props that the people approved coming to the conclusion that your vote doesn’t matter. Is that actually true?

An Evening with James Comey

James Comey… there are multiple things that come to mind when I hear his name.

  • The Hillary Clinton email situation.
  • The Anthony Weiner scandal.
  • The ‘loyalty’ pledge.
  • The secret memos.
  • His multiple Congressional testimonies.
  • His firing…and many other things.

Is there a more complicated or polarizing political figure than James Comey?

Somehow he figured out how to make both sides of the political spectrum hate him. Yet, he seems beloved by employees of the FBI. While he seems bound by rules and regulations in many situations, he simultaneously flies in face of them in others.

Throughout his career he has shown amazing courage, speaking truth to power, going after the mob and white-collar crime; yet, I feel quite disappointed with how he handled our current president at times. I love that he speaks out for our values, but hate that he had a hand in creating this mess. The FBI is supposed to be behind-the-scenes yet he seems super drawn to the media. I’m confused about why he pushed back on the New York Times during a Senate hearing after they reported the Trump campaign had many contacts with Russians when that has turned out to be true. So, it’s weird. Do I like him or do I not? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. These are some of the reasons I was so eager to read his book. Who is this guy and why is he so complicated? His book is a great read and actually gives a lot of insight into why he made the decisions he did. He is able to illustrate the immense pressure the FBI, and him personally, was under while trying to deliberate how to handle this truly unprecedented situation. I believe he handled the email situation incorrectly, but the book helped me understand how he arrived where he did. I still feel very frustrated by the whole thing, but it is what it is.

Perfect Timing: Comey in Salt Lake City.

I was thrilled when my husband told me that James Comey was coming to SLC and he found tickets. It seemed like perfect timing with the bombshell news that dropped the previous weekend too. We arrived at the venue and the environment was just buzzing with energy. It seemed I wasn’t the only one bursting with curiosity at what he might say. The person that introduced him gave a timeline of his career. The crowd roared with laughter when he mentioned Comey’s time as a federal prosecutor under Rudy Giuliani. We laughed again when he said Comey served as Deputy Attorney General at the DOJ when Robert Mueller was FBI Director. What a comical twist of fate to see where we are now! And then came,”Ladies and Gentlemen, James Comey!” Thunderous applause filled the hall as this giant of a man strode onto the stage. As he began to speak I was struck by his charisma. He captured the crowd as he spoke about ethical leadership, his worry about the erosion of our public life and how much he believes in our institutions. It was so clear how much he loves and misses the FBI. He described his pain and depression he has felt over the last couple of years, but is determined to make something good come out of it. I was shocked by how funny he is and how fondly he spoke of past presidents. He talked about how important it is to listen to others when you hold a position of leadership. He said Barack Obama was the best listener he has ever come across. Obama would let you speak uninterrupted for 10 minutes and then respond with questions from minute one, seven and nine. He would never sit behind the resolute desk, but sit in a wingback chair while you sat on the couch. He would face you, look at you without any other distractions. He used humor to make the speaker feel more at ease because he understood what it feels like to talk ‘uphill’ to the most powerful person in the world. Comey then juxtaposed that with our current president. He doesn’t stop talking so the briefer is forced to interrupt. Anything you say falls on deaf ears. He sits behind the desk and tries to impose an intimidating persona. All of these things, in Comey’s opinion, is a mark of an incredibly weak leader. He spoke of his life, his career and his hopes for the future. He talked about his wife and 6 children. He told funny stories of employees at the FBI, staffers and the presidents. He captivated his audience in a way that I wasn’t expecting.

The Q&A Session: ‘Vote this President Out of Office’

After he concluded his speech we began the Q&A session. It was everything you would imagine. There were lots of questions about the Russia investigation and, as you might predict, he couldn’t really say much about it. He was asked about the Hillary Clinton email situation. One thing he said that stuck out to me was, ‘This has been like a nightmare and I can’t wake up.’ He was asked about William Barr, the new AG. He said that he believed that pick is better than anything we could have hoped for and Trump may have bitten off more than he could chew. He talked about how Trump doesn’t laugh and he believes that is one of many signs that he is a deeply insecure person. He was asked if he believed that Trump would make it to the end of his term. Comey said that he hoped Trump did make it to the end of his term followed by stone cold silence. He explained, “People need to get off the couch, get out of the car and vote your values. The best thing for the health of our democracy is to vote this president out of office.” The crowd erupted! As the questions wrapped, he was met by a standing ovation. There was something truly inspiring about seeing Comey the human. Not the FBI Director, not the guy that Trump fired, not the guy that screwed up the election. When you strip away all the anger, the confusion and the turmoil that is our political reality right now, you are left with the most important thing that we all can agree on. Our American values. The most important thing we can do is fight to protect those values and the very democracy we all hold dear.

Blue Mom Red State: ‘If more Republicans were like Comey…’

I’m so happy I was able to attend. I’ve come to the conclusion that if all Republicans were more like the James Comey I saw tonight, the world would be better than it is today. Like him, it would still be complicated, but better.

It is time to come out of hiding. My goal is to empower you: the silent observer. To provide knowledge to every American man, woman, and child who has an opinion but has been falsely convinced that they don’t know enough about politics to be allowed to share it. Abandon that belief. You are an American. Your voice matters. Rise up and stand for what is right. For family. For justice. For equality and humanity. This blog is for you. And together, our strong collective voices can change this world for the better.

Follow live on Twitter: @blumom_redstate

More from Blue Mom Red State:

Islamophobia in America


American Islamophobia seems to be on the rise. Why? Learn about Islam and you’ll see there is no reason to be afraid at all. In this video, I compare Islam and Mormonism to illustrate just how much the two religions have in common. The Muslim vs Mormon comparison is particularly interesting to me because I live in Utah where Mormonism is the most commonly practiced religion.

The Mormon Church has a radical sect called FLDS that, to this day, practices polygamy. Grown men marry children, there’s widespread sexual abuse and many cases of incest all done with the claim that they are practicing the purest form of Mormonism. Because of this sect, many people who don’t know about Utah or the LDS church have many misconceptions about the faith and people that live here.

Muslims are experiencing the same phenomenon right now. There is a tiny radical sect of Islam that spreads terrorism causing many Muslim misconceptions.

People of Utah should be more sympathetic to a Muslims plight than most people because us Utahans deal with many misconceptions of our own. We understand better than most that one bad apple can ruin it for everyone.

Non-consensual Immorality

Wow, it is absurd to use these two words together. I was reading an article about the Mormon churches conference this past weekend wondering if they were going to address the recent allegations against a former MTC president. This is where I ran into the phrase ‘non-consensual immorality.’ This phrase was used in a talk by Quentin L. Cook, one of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. This was one of the only references to sexual misconduct in the whole conference.

Using that phrase implies that the victim, you know the one that isn’t consenting to said act, in that moment is not being moral. So, to put it in more frank terms, the woman that gets raped committed a non-consensual immorality implying that she is no longer moral. Non-consensual immorality was condemned, yet he reminded the crowd that consensual immorality must also be condemned. In doing this, he lumped all participants, rapist/victim and consensual sexual partners, into the same sinful pile. This makes no sense.

I’m flabbergasted that a leader of such an influential institution would say something like that. It is the obligation of a moral leader to explicitly state that sexual assault has no moral bearing on the victim and that perpetrators must suffer the consequences of their actions through the legal system. They should encourage victims to come forward. They should make clear that the church is committed to investigating any and all accusations in order to keep their members safe from sexual assault. Instead, they made an unclear statement that is open to interpretation. They should have chosen to clear it up that following Sunday through a church wide statement read aloud by the bishop. But they chose to continue to muddy the water.

It seems incredibly tone deaf for the moment right now. It seems like saying this further ingrains the cultural impulse to blame the victim in assault cases. What does a woman have to do to have a credible allegation in the eyes of the public? How do we make a shift away from this when moral leaders are preaching to do the opposite?